What To Expect When You’re Expecting (a Vampire)

I just found out that my favorite cousins (well cousin and his wife, same dif) are having a baby in April.  Since they live in England - and I want to go to there - I wasted no time in sending them a congratulatory email that contained, among other things, the following messages:

• Congratulations!!!  And please consider how awesome your child will grow up if I become your au pair.
• Your baby will not gestate properly unless exposed to the first three episodes of The Vampire Diaries.

I’m not really sure point two is helping to sell point one there…

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