rhymes with emma

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:11:00 -0600

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving:

bmichael:

According to McCabe, all the assholes in attendance will look the same except for being 10 to 20 pounds heavier, and possibly sporting a new beard or goatee. However, that same old shit-eating grin will still be on all their faces, McCabe reported.

25 Year Old To Stay In On Night Before Thanksgiving, Ostensibly To Avoid Mayhem But Mostly Because She’s Secretly Elderly

23 Year Old Already Avoiding Text Requests to ‘Hit Downtown’ Tonight; Contemplating Faking Her Own Death.

bonusjonas: I was just told that my bros aren’t playing the Super Bowl, only the Thanksgiving Day...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:00:44 -0600

bonusjonas:

I was just told that my bros aren’t playing the Super Bowl, only the Thanksgiving Day football game! My dad said I can’t go to that game either.

I will stay at home and eat gravy. I will have my bitter tears for dessert.

Iiiiiiiiiiit’s theee moooooost wooooonderfulllll tiiiiiime ooooof theee yeaaaaaaar!

THIS SHOW, YOU GUYS. THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:58:00 -0600

Veronica: Hey, are you picking your mom up from work today?
Wallace: Yeah.
Veronica: Can you do me a weird favour without asking any questions?
Wallace: Isn't that the bedrock on which our friendship was founded?
...........................
...........................
Wallace: My mom thinks I'm staying at Norman's house.
Veronica: Who's Norman?
Wallace: Norman is my imaginary, straight-A, Eagle Scout, mama's boy friend.
Veronica: He sounds boring for an imaginary friend.
Wallace: Mom seems to like him.

megalong: cold-campbells: fujiidom:...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:25:24 -0600

megalong:

cold-campbells: fujiidom: copulatedkiss: shimmeryshine: whilewebreathe:

on set, sectionals.

Now that the post is written, I must answer an important question: Job application or Veronica Mars?

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:25:33 -0600

nerdgasms:

I just watched Veronica Mars for the first time evar yesterday. It is so, so good. BUT, I need a new job. Choices choices.

I have tasted both and I can say unequivocally that finding out who killed Lilly Kane is vastly superior to employment.

"I NEVER eat french fries!"

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:38:18 -0600

“I NEVER eat french fries!”

- My grandmother, while shoving french fries into her mouth. And for those of you who have heard this quote before and believe it to be apocryphal…this took place TODAY WHILE WE WERE EATING LUNCH TOGETHER.

"They recently made a porn movie, this is true, about Sarah Palin, and then the same adult actress,..."

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:24:25 -0600

“They recently made a porn movie, this is true, about Sarah Palin, and then the same adult actress, Lisa Ann, played me in a porn parody of ‘30 Rock.’ Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy. But I know the most about three-ways.”

- Tiny Fey at Ad Council dinner, with Sarah Palin in attendance. (via New York Times) (via soupsoup) (via vneckandacardigan)

I am on that 24-hour Champagne diet

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:35:42 -0600

nerdgasms:

hurricane-k:

spillin’ while I’m sippin’

I encourage you to try it

Wow, I need to try this diet.

If I incorporate some fresh squeezed oj, that totally counts a a juice cleanse, no?

vneckandacardigan: When did Christina Aguilera start dressing...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:12:59 -0600

vneckandacardigan:

When did Christina Aguilera start dressing like a middle-aged mom from Arkansas???

I’m 92% sure she’s filming for Burlesque here, in which she plays a “small-town ~~meth head~~ girl”.

"Rolling Stone Mick Jagger was injured during a gig in Marseilles after a fan threw a chair at the..."

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:10:23 -0600

“Rolling Stone Mick Jagger was injured during a gig in Marseilles after a fan threw a chair at the stage, Jagger required eight stitches in the cut.”

- March 29th, on this day 1966. If you don’t know what I thought it said, you don’t know me. I’m still laughing…(via)

“He has some of the best hair plugs in Hollywood.”...

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:54:36 -0600

“He has some of the best hair plugs in Hollywood.” -an ONTD commenter complimenting McHale’s hotness. I laughed, but it’s so true. Thanks for once again expressing feelings I never knew I had, ONTD. (via)

I’m hopping the good old Megabus to NYC again this...

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:27:29 -0600

I’m hopping the good old Megabus to NYC again this afternoon. I’m much more prepared this trip, but much less hopeful. Of the dozen apartments I inquired about, I have received one reply that didn’t contain the words “already found a roommate.” And it was from a dude who didn’t answer any of my questions and told me his name was something other than what his email identified him as.

I just really hope that this time I get a bus driver who isn’t going to force me to watch Seven Pounds. Once was really enough.

annietron: (via) I was going to “like” this photo...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:35:50 -0600

annietron:

(via)

I was going to “like” this photo and then I realized that it didn’t properly express how I feel about it. I do not “like” it. I am fascinated by it, I am terrified of it. This picture makes me want to die with fear. It legitimately makes me shiver in horror.

According to Ausiello, Dollhouse has been canceled. Good...

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:00:32 -0600

According to Ausiello, Dollhouse has been canceled. ~~Good riddance~~ farewell, you frustratingly uneven, yet some how promising mockery of a show. (via)

Lady Gaga’s video for Bad Romance is doing nothing to...

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:41:00 -0600

Lady Gaga’s video for Bad Romance is doing nothing to dispel my theory that she decided if she was too pretty to be taken seriously, she’d be too EVERYTHING to be taken seriously. (via)

Cornell employee CC's ENTIRE campus on sex-filled email exchange

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:50:57 -0600

Cornell employee CC's ENTIRE campus on sex-filled email exchange:

mascarah:

…with his mistress! This is too good. And I think he has a MULLET.

My best friend from high school works at Cornell so you know I shot off an email with alacrity this morning. THE FOLLOWING IS A TRUE STORY (lmao):

HER: Yeah, we heard about that. My friend [redacted]’s friend was the one who turned the email in (apparently everyone else ignored it). He said the email described EVERYTHING they wanted to do sexually to each other…

ME: Bwahaha, the article I read printed the emails, but I couldn’t read them, I get too much second-hand embarrassment.

HER: The best part is that whole thing happened [in my building]… they are my Johnson School “colleagues”. It’s awesome. And retarded.

I can’t be sure, but I strongly suspect Us Weekly’s...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:30:00 -0600

I can’t be sure, but I strongly suspect Us Weekly’s Lindsay Lohan hotness retrospective is now my anti-drug. How sad. (via)

(via)

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:25:00 -0600

(via)

mascarah: This is the bottle that I designed for Evian and it’s...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:29:41 -0600

mascarah:

This is the bottle that I designed for Evian and it’s full of all the colors that I use every day and they’re very full of energy and fun. Life is about living young, being youthful, and enjoying yourself every day because every day is important

-PAUL SMITH

You have an Evian, and I have an Evian, and I have a straw. There it is, that’s a straw, you see? You watching?. And my straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your Evian… I… drink… your… Evian. I drink it up!

megalong: magara: Here’s what I can do:Chew gumWriteSpellStand...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:25:52 -0600

megalong:

magara:

Here’s what I can do:
Chew gum
Write
Spell
Stand on my head for the longest amount of time
Get dizzy and fall down
Make a terrible face
And here’s the thing of it
Most of the time I’m on the telephone

Getting bored is not allowed.