JCrew cannot be serious with this ad campaign.  I mean, come on.  What is the ONE THING that could make the average woman look worse in skinny leg jeans than she already does?  Oh I don’t know, how about cutting them off at the ankles!  This model has to stand pigeon-toed to even squeeze herself into these monstrosities.

—Breaking News: Haha, while I was writing this rant, my mom emailed me the same ad and posited that the model looked so bad, it must be a hoax of some sort.—

I would like to finish by saying that even if I were somehow snookered into thinking I could pull off these pants, there are not enough drugs in the world for me to think I should pair them with an ill-fitting, ruffledy looking cardigan, a wrinkly turtleneck, unkempt hair, and a pair of $225 orthapedic shoes that - despite ending BELOW the ankle - are verging perilously close to cankle-maker territory.

NO.

I got this J Crew Sweepstakes offer in my inbox this afternoon and I was about to start going through the officials rules to find out whether you need to be a dude to win (answer upon later perusal: no), and then I clicked on the details.  I really don’t have any interest in doing most of those things.  And don’t even get me started on them telling me what to order.  Perhaps I will never live up to the mantle Urban Daddy.